Hallo zusammen,
gerade habe ich diese Geschichte gelesen und ich wollte sie Euch nicht vorenthalten. Leider kann ich sie Euch hier nur in Englisch präsentieren; die Arbeit, das alles zu übersetzen, mochte ich mir dann doch nicht machen. Ich denke, man versteht es auch so ganz gut.
Ist es wirklich so, daß Männer anders denken als Frauen? Würde mich mal interessieren. Man hört das ja immer wieder, daß wir Frauen uns um alles, jede kleinste Geste, jedes Wort Gedanken machen, während die Gedanken der Männer meist nicht umfangreicher sind als ihre gesprochenen Sätze (mitunter erschreckend wortkarg)
Ist der ganze Kummer womöglich gar vermeidbar, wenn es einem nur bewußt wäre, daß man aneinander vorbeiredet?
Tina
Hier also nun der Text:
Men look at things different
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named
Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a
pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to
dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to
see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of
them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when
they're driving home, a thought occurs to
Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud:
''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each
other for exactly six months?'' And then there is silence in
the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She
thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I
said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our
relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into
some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure
of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want
this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a
little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I
really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily
toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going
to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we
heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime
together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I
really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . .
let's see . . .February when we started going out, which was
right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . .
lemme check the odometer . . .
Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his
face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he
wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more
commitment; maybe he has
sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some
reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so
reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's
afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the
transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's
still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame
it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87
degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn
garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him.
I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him
through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not
sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-
day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the
scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic,
waiting for a Knight to come riding up on his white horse,
when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a
person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a
person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in
pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic
fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll
give them a goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and
stick it right up their......
''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud.
"What?'' says Roger, startled.
''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her
eyes beginning to brim with ears. ''Maybe I should never
have . . Oh God, I feel so......'' (She breaks down,
sobbing.)
''What?'' says Roger.
''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's
no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no
knight, and there's no horse.''
''There's no horse?'' says Roger.
''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.
''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,''
Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as
he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he
comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
''Yes,'' he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) ''Oh, Roger, do
you really feel that way?'' she says.
''What way?'' says Roger.
"That way about time,'' says Elaine.
''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes,
causing him to become very nervous about what she might say
next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she
speaks.)
''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.
''Thank you,'' says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a
conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas
when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of
Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply
involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two
Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far
recesses of his mind tells him that something major was
going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there
is no way he would ever understand what,
and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
(This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps
two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six
straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze
everything she said and everything he said, going over it
time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and
gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible
ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject,
off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any
definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it,
either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a
mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before
serving, frown, and say: ''Norm, did Elaine ever own a
horse?
gerade habe ich diese Geschichte gelesen und ich wollte sie Euch nicht vorenthalten. Leider kann ich sie Euch hier nur in Englisch präsentieren; die Arbeit, das alles zu übersetzen, mochte ich mir dann doch nicht machen. Ich denke, man versteht es auch so ganz gut.
Ist es wirklich so, daß Männer anders denken als Frauen? Würde mich mal interessieren. Man hört das ja immer wieder, daß wir Frauen uns um alles, jede kleinste Geste, jedes Wort Gedanken machen, während die Gedanken der Männer meist nicht umfangreicher sind als ihre gesprochenen Sätze (mitunter erschreckend wortkarg)
Ist der ganze Kummer womöglich gar vermeidbar, wenn es einem nur bewußt wäre, daß man aneinander vorbeiredet?
Tina
Hier also nun der Text:
Men look at things different
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named
Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a
pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to
dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to
see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of
them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when
they're driving home, a thought occurs to
Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud:
''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each
other for exactly six months?'' And then there is silence in
the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She
thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I
said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our
relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into
some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure
of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want
this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a
little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I
really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily
toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going
to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we
heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime
together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I
really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . .
let's see . . .February when we started going out, which was
right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . .
lemme check the odometer . . .
Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his
face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he
wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more
commitment; maybe he has
sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some
reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so
reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's
afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the
transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's
still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame
it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87
degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn
garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him.
I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him
through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not
sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-
day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the
scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic,
waiting for a Knight to come riding up on his white horse,
when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a
person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a
person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in
pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic
fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll
give them a goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and
stick it right up their......
''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud.
"What?'' says Roger, startled.
''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her
eyes beginning to brim with ears. ''Maybe I should never
have . . Oh God, I feel so......'' (She breaks down,
sobbing.)
''What?'' says Roger.
''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's
no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no
knight, and there's no horse.''
''There's no horse?'' says Roger.
''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.
''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,''
Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as
he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he
comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
''Yes,'' he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) ''Oh, Roger, do
you really feel that way?'' she says.
''What way?'' says Roger.
"That way about time,'' says Elaine.
''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes,
causing him to become very nervous about what she might say
next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she
speaks.)
''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.
''Thank you,'' says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a
conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas
when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of
Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply
involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two
Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far
recesses of his mind tells him that something major was
going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there
is no way he would ever understand what,
and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
(This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps
two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six
straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze
everything she said and everything he said, going over it
time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and
gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible
ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject,
off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any
definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it,
either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a
mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before
serving, frown, and say: ''Norm, did Elaine ever own a
horse?
